Orange County Time!

Sorry guys, but I gotta do more Real Housewives recaps.  Honestly, after the mediocre season that was Beverly Hills I feel like I owe it to the internet to recap a city that will hopefully have more pizazz.

As you may or may not (but how could you not?!) The Real Housewives of Orange County is the original Housewives. It premiered in 2006, pre-recession when reality TV was still establishing itself as a genre that would stand the test of time.  Fun fact: I wrote my high school senior paper on reality TV back in 2007.  Not only was it the most fun paper I’ve ever written, but it also amps up my street cred on being a reality TV expert.

Anyways when RHOC initially aired it was totally different from what the Housewives franchise is today.  The “reunion” was the ladies casually chatting and reminiscing about the season in Jeana’s back yard. A far cry from current day reunions.  Anyways I have been a fan from the start, and while I doubt anything can top last season I’m anxious to see what happens.

real housewives of orange county, RHOC ,Source and Source.                              Now and Then.

Onto the ep!

So Heather and Terry are clearly rich AF.

If I’m ever back in southern California again I’m definitely hitting up CUT Fitness just because Eddie is seriously sexy.

What do you know, Vicki is lonely in her huge-ass house.  Vicki needs to learn how to be alone. Girl is co-dependent on the world.  She’s also apparently still dating the creep-tastic Brooks despite the fact that Brianna announced last reunion that he had made sexual comments towards her and told her husband he needed to start beating her.  Real winner right there.  Also Brianna is pregnant again and I’m really happy for her, because she is definitely the most chill/normal housewives kid despite the fact that her mom can be absolutely batshit crazy.  I’m still a little wary of her husband after he verbally assaulted Lydia (who BTW lasted one season, ouch)’s mother last year for putting her feet on a couch.

Vicki is distraught because her daughter is moving to Oklahoma where her military husband will be stationed.  According to Vicki Brianna should not move there because, “Oklahoma is a forgotten state.  We’ve never been to Oklahoma.  I don’t know what they eat in Oklahoma.”  All valid reasons, Vicki.

In true housewives fashion the new housewives are not so organically pushed together with the old ones.  Heather tours a home of new housewife Shannon where they happen to stumble upon the fact that their kids went to school together.  The odds!

It appears Shannon’s unique twist is that she is green.  But not like typical green where you recycle and use solar power.  She doesn’t have wifi in her house due the “electromagnetic radiation” it produces.  Now I’ve taken a lot of science classes in my life and I’ve never heard this fact, but who am I to doubt an Orange county housewife?  It should also be noted that Shannon’s husband bares a striking resemblance to Simon Barney, Tamra’s ex.

david beador vs simon barneySource

Heather goes to Hawaii to appear on Hawaii Five-0, and Vicki and Tamra decide to join her and have a typical housewives “girl trip.” Vicki and Tamra want to go surfing but, Heather does not.  Vicki announces that Heather needs to take off her “fancy pants” and put on a g-string. Then she announces that she wears g-strings. This is not something I care to imagine seeing as Vicki is a 52 year old grandma.

Then Vicki proceeds to stumble and fall over surfboards (still on the sand), struggles to get up on the board, then finally stands up only to fall off and land on a lava rock.  Per Vicki she cut her knee up terribly and it was gushing blood to the point that she was worried it would attract sharks.  Warning: the following photo is of Vicki’s wound and due to the extreme nature of the wound may not be suitable for all viewers:

vicki gunvalson hurt knee

I realize I’m cuckoo, but if I could afford it I totally would visit an energy medical specialist a la Shannon.  Girl appears wackadoodle, but I too support holistic health and would blow embarrassing amounts of money on that stuff if I had the disposable income. For now I will stick with yoga and green smoothies.

We return to Hawaii where Heather is being a know-it-all about everything. It was a little annoying, but as I have a bit of a know-it-all streak myself I can’t really judge.  Then Tamra drops the bomb and asked Vicki about Brooks, the topic everyone has avoided all episode and then we cut to the preview for the rest of the season.

Just a guess, but I’m thinking things aren’t going to go over peacefully when we get further into the status of Vicki and Brooks’ relationship.  Can’t freaking wait.

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A Lil Announcement

I’m super excited to announce that tomorrow I’ll be switching my blog over to being self-hosted!  I’m looking forward to having more control, adding more features, and all kinds of other fun stuff.  It should only take about 24 hours, but afterwards things might be a little wonky while I figure things out.  So thank you in advance for bearing with me during this in-between time!

quotes, ealanor rooseveltSource

 

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Weekend Wrap Up

Low key weekend, but the weather was perfect. I actually got sunburned despite sitting in the shad facing away from the sun. Vampire no more.

singing, disney radio Taking Timmy to work singing along to Lion King radio.

homemade pizzaDad’s pizza for the time in what feels like FOREVER.

protein pancakes, healthyProtein pancakes with fresh berries.

dog in cat bed, fat, tiaTia thinking she fits in a cat bed.  Lil fatty ❤

strawberry doughboy smoothieMade my first doughboy smoothie.  To be honest I wasn’t a fan.  Something about the texture wasn’t my bag.  Also I didn’t have a banana, which I missed.

injurded robinCaught my cat with this in his mouth. I rescued him, but he wouldn’t fly away. So he chilled in this cereal box next to me in my room while I worked on the computer. Then he started squawking and spreading his wings and I got scared he was going to start flying around our house (which happened when I was a kid once and was scary). So I took him outside where he just squawked and drew the attention of my cat. So then I put him in our cat carrier where he could further recoup while being protected from the cats.  A half hour later he was waiting at the front of the carrier, so I bent down to let him out and my phone fell out of my pocket and the screen cracked 😦 😦 😦 waaaahhhh.  Luckily it’s small, not on the screen, and the bird survived.

Then about 2 hours later the cat showed up with a bunny.  We got the cat away and reached for the rabbit who promptly ran back towards the cat. So stupid rabbit got to stay with the cat. Survival of the fittest.

 

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Which is Worse: Election Season or Coachella?

Did you guys know it’s Coachella weekend?  If you didn’t then you don’t have access to the internet, so you aren’t reading this.  The past 2 weeks my newsfeed, timelines, and blogs I follow have been blowing up about Coachella. I have nothing against the festival, in fact I think it’d be a ton of fun to go to. Also being an OU “alum” I am no stranger to the fun that is fests. I just don’t like reading about it every time I go online.

So as my annoyed-meter has steadily risen the past few weeks, I realized something.  I’ve felt this way before.  Every 4 years in fact during the lovely season that is election season. Some of you may be wondering, “What’s the big deal about election season?”  Well let me tell you.  I live in a swing state. In fact my county is known as the quintessential bellwether county.  As in whoever my county votes for has become president like 98% of the time in the past 150 years or something.  Clearly I don’t know the exact stats, but basically we vote for the winning candidate significantly more times than just general odds would predict.

Because of this candidates campaign heavily in my area.  Every other commercial is for a politician. Most of the candidates come to my little old town to speak.  Last year Mitt Romney spoke at an event at my high school football stadium.  Basically elections are a big ass deal around these parts, and you can’t escape them no matter how un-political you may be. (I do vote every year BTW despite my clear distaste for all the campaigning).

SO. That brings me to my original post.  Which is worse? Well I thought I’d make a little graphic to compare.

coachella vs election seasonDING DING DING it looks like we have our winner.  Coachella is the worst.  I also should have mentioned that Coachella is yearly vs. election season which isn’t. So buckle up ladies and gents because we’ve still got another week to get through before the Coachella posts stop.  Just remember:  If Britney Spears could make it through 2007 we can make it through Coachella week(s).

 

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